Every year, usually on my birthday or before New Year, I update my list of life goals. You may be familiar with the Be, Do, Have format of setting goals. If you are not, it basically means categorizing your goals into three: what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have.
The first category (Be) has to do with your character. Do you want to be more intentional, more patient, more focused, more proactive? The second category (Do) is about what you want to achieve or experience. This is what other people refer to as your Bucket List. Do you want to start a new business, become the top sales performer, backpack all over Europe, skydive in New Zealand? The third category (Have) is a list of all the material things you want to own or buy.
My list is pretty long on the Be column and longest on the Do column. The strange thing is my Have column is quite short. It’s not so much that I have so many things – although I am thankful to be blessed with a lot of comforts in life – I believe it’s because I realize I don’t need or want to own too many things beyond what is enough.
So why I am telling you these things (and implying that you should not spend too much)? Well, exactly because I don’t want you to spend too much on material things. Focus on the Be and Do categories. They last longer. The Have stuff? You get to enjoy them for a few weeks, a few months maybe. And then you get used to them you take them for granted and wish for something newer, bigger, better. That’s what behavioral psychologists call the hedonistic treadmill.
I am not saying you should not spend and enjoy material blessings. I’ll be a hypocrite to say I don’t want what I have now or I don’t want other things. But what I’m saying is be content and continue to enjoy what you do have now and you’ll automatically want fewer things.
Now if you do want to buy some stuff for yourself or your family, here are few simple tips to make your spending and purchases are more meaningful and longer-lasting:
Buy experiences, not things. Research has shown that we are happier when we spend on experiences, like traveling with our family or going to a concert by our favorite artist, versus buying stuff like toys or gadgets. Why? We form positive emotions when we reminisce about our experiences (over time, our brains even trick us into thinking we had a much greater time than we actually did). With material things, our happiness is much more short-term.
Delay gratification. Again, research tells us we derive more happiness anticipating for something than actually owning that thing. Weird? Just think of the time you wanted to buy a new tablet or a pair of shoes you’ve always wanted. Weren’t you more excited doing your research, window shopping, and finally walking towards the shop to finally make your purchase? Fast forward a month after you bought the item. Is your heat still beating fast? Do you still have that tingling feeling? Nah.
Don’t pay retail. Everyone loves a bargain. But apparently, not a lot of people are willing to wait to get the best deal. If you really want to buy something, you might as well wait for it to go on sale. Malls have sales almost every month. Individual shops dispose of old inventory at steep discounts mid-year and at the start of the year. There are fairs and expos offering great deals on airline fares, books, toys, and clothes. Group deal sites sell vouchers for hotels, restaurants, and spas for half the price.
Pay in cash or pay in full. You get the greatest feeling when you buy something you worked hard for. So if you can, save up for something you want to buy. Or if you want to use your credit card, pay the balance in full. If you’re offered 0% installment, make sure it is really 0% and that you can afford it. The worst feeling is after you bought your “must-have” stuff, you end up carrying a balance and paying for it plus exorbitant interest many months or even years after.
And by the way, one last tip: spend on things that will help you learn to make more money and manage your money.
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