While generally men handle the earning and investing part while women manage the spending part, that’s not always the case. In fact, read this article that debunks the idea that men should do the investing while women should do the budgeting. However, we believe it’s not strictly a gender issue. Who does which depends on these 3 factors:
Factor #1: Interest
If you’re interested in something, you are more likely to do it and stick to it. Same thing with financial responsibilities. With the possible exception of earning money, which we still believe should be the husband’s primary role, the other two roles can be split by both husband and wife, depending on their interest. In our case, I am more interested in investing, so I take charge in this area.
As we mentioned, men are usually more interested in investing and women in budgeting. But if in your family, it’s the reverse, then go ahead and switch roles! I know some husbands who handle the budgeting. And I know wives who do the investing. You can’t force your wife to pay the bills and balance the budget if she hates it. In the same way, you shouldn’t force your husband to invest if he finds it boring but you don’t. However, interest is only one factor.
Factor #2: Aptitude
Whoever has the competence, talent, or skills to do investing should do it. The same thing with spending. By the way, this doesn’t have to be all or nothing. There are many tasks involved in the spending role, so one person doesn’t have to do every single thing. For example, one of you can prepare the budget while the other makes sure the family keeps to the budget. One of you can do the research on purchases and travel while the other does the haggling. One of you can do the household accounting while the other does the banking transactions. One of you can record and keep the bills while the other pays for them. For us, my wife has better skills at finding loopholes, negotiating prices, and sticking to the budget, so she does those.
Factor #3: Time
Often, it’s whoever has the time to do it is assigned the role. It’s not the ideal situation, but usually, it’s the most practical solution. In our case, I like tracking expenses and paying the bills but we feel it’s not the best use of my time when I should spend more time making money!
There are times when one of us has more time than other. For example, when our second baby came out, my wife did not have the time or inclination to pay the bills. It so happens I like to pay the bills, am good at paying bills, and have more time to pay the bills. So for several months, I took on that task.
How to Work as a Team
The worst thing you can do is not split money roles! That is, only one of you does everything and the other does not do anything and is just too happy to be clueless. Maybe it’s the husband who handles all financial duties — earning, spending, and investing (and yes, there are couples wherein it’s the wife who does all three!). Or the husband earns and then lets his wife take care of spending and investing.
It’s okay to delegate but it’s never okay to abdicate. While the wife can be tasked to do the spending and investing roles, the husband cannot wash his hands and say “I don’t know” if asked where the money or how it’s used. Similarly, the wife cannot shrug her shoulders and say “My husband does these things” if asked how they are doing financially.
Remember you are a team, and while the wife often takes on many of these financial responsibilities, the husband remains the team leader. So the husband still has to be on top of things. Now if it turns out the wife is not interested, is not skillful, and does not have the time, so the husband handles everything, the wife still has to know what’s going on. It’s also a fact that wives usually outlive their husbands, so knowing is better than being ignorant.
I remember having a rah-rah attitude about spending like I had no problems with always eating out or running two air-conditioners on the whole night. Until it was my time to do the budget and pay the bills. Then I had a better grasp of the family expenses and became more cost-conscious.
So for us, just being a passive recipient of financial updates is not ideal. It’s still best to be actually involved one way or another. In our case, we do an annual budget meeting where my wife prepares the budget and presents it to me. We then tweak it and agree on it. I do the research on what stocks, funds, real estate, etc. to invest in, then presents it to my wife. Both of us keep each other updated on our expenses, investment returns, and additional income. It’s nothing formal; we just mention it offhand. But there are times when we schedule a meeting for something more urgent like when I want to buy a new investment or my wife wants to present a travel itinerary.
Do what works best for you as long as you work together. Couples who share financial responsibilities register the best financial outcomes. So be a power couple and boost your odds of financial success!
